this is sooooo old school internet

I used to love these old survey things. Bringing back old school internet right here baby. It’s also a way for me to ignore the FB and Twitter hateful presidential debate comments and take the tension off a stressful Detroit Tigers bullpen

I still can’t believe I actually did this thing. It was a lot of fun though, and it reminds me of how much I used to love these things.

  • 1. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE CANDLE SCENT?

    I’m a guy. really? okay, anything vanilla-y

  • 2. WHAT FEMALE CELEBRITY DO YOU WISH WAS YOUR SISTER?

    i have a sister thanks. but if i had to pick I’d say the old lady from Billy Madison “If peeing your pants is cool, consider me ‘Miles Davis.'”

  • 3. WHAT MALE CELEBRITY DO YOU WISH WAS YOUR BROTHER?

    He’s not cooler than my actual brother, but Zach Galifinakis and I could pass as pretty sweet beard brothers.

  • 4. HOW OLD DO YOU THINK YOU’LL BE WHEN YOU GET MARRIED?

    only planning on doing this once. Have you seen how awesome my wife is?

  • 5. DO YOU KNOW A HOARDER?

    Everytime I go to Costco. Honestly, why do you need 6 boxes of Cheerios at one time? Unless you are the Duggars.

  • 6. CAN YOU DO A SPLIT?

    Can or want to? And to both the answer is no.

  • 7. HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU LEARNED HOW TO RIDE A BIKE?

    7. don’t make fun of me either, jerks. 

  • 8. HOW MANY OCEANS HAVE YOU SWAM IN?

    2. at once. I’m that fat.

  • 9. HOW MANY COUNTRIES HAVE YOU BEEN TO?

    USA and Canada. Captain Adventurous.

  • 10. IS ANYONE IN YOUR FAMILY IN THE ARMY?

    We’re a mostly ninja clan. 

  • 11. WHAT WOULD YOU NAME YOUR DAUGHTER IF YOU HAD ONE?

    Cook. kidding. sort of. I think Levi jr. sounds pretty feminine though.

  • 12. WHAT WOULD YOU NAME YOUR SON IF YOU HAD ONE?

    All our sons will be named Page, and they will all be super hyper.

  • 13. WHAT’S THE WORST GRADE YOU GOT ON A TEST?

    probably something in the zero range.

  • 14. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW WHEN YOU WERE A CHILD?

    Simpsons and Sportscenter. Really anything but Unsolved Mysteries and that creepy music and host (shivering)

  • 15. WHAT DID YOU DRESS UP AS ON HALLOWEEN WHEN YOU WERE EIGHT?

    Probably something with a mullet. Because I had a mullet. yep. 

  • 16. HAVE YOU READ ANY OF THE HARRY POTTER, HUNGER GAMES OR TWILIGHT SERIES?

    You know there are movies for those, right?

  • 17. WOULD YOU RATHER HAVE AN AMERICAN ACCENT OR A BRITISH ACCENT?

    have you ever heard a person with a british accent impersonating an american accent. pure comedic gold.

  • 18. DID YOUR MOTHER GO TO COLLEGE? 

    Easy, Kip.

  • 19. ARE YOUR GRANDPARENTS STILL MARRIED?

    I only have my grandmother left, and she is totally awesome. 

  • 20. HAVE YOU EVER TAKEN KARATE LESSONS?

    Not necessary. I have a good defense mechanism of getting into a ball and crying like a baby. Works 60 percent of the time.

  • 21. DO YOU KNOW WHO KERMIT THE FROG IS?

    I know him. personally. I just texted him ttyl. He responded with a winking emoticon. What am I talking about? No clue.

  • 22. WHAT’S THE FIRST AMUSEMENT PARK YOU’VE BEEN TO?

    Memphis. zippin pippin. nuff said.

  • 23. WHAT LANGUAGE, BESIDES YOUR NATIVE LANGUAGE, WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE FLUENT IN?

    I’d like to be able to say the alphabet backwards. Why is that so difficult? I get zyx then I’m all whaaaaaa?

  • 24. DO YOU SPELL THE COLOR AS GREY OR GRAY?

    I’ve always wondered what’s up with that, and I’m too lazy to google it.

  • 25. IS YOUR FATHER BALD?

    We Lunsfords have a ridiculous amount of hair. 

  • 26. DO YOU KNOW TRIPLETS?

    nope, and I can’t think of anything funny

  • 27. DO YOU PREFER TITANIC OR THE NOTEBOOK?

    I could sleep to either film equally well.

  • 28. HAVE YOU EVER HAD INDIAN FOOD?

    once. nuff said

  • 29. WHAT’S THE NAME OF YOUR FAVORITE RESTAURANT?

    Chipotle. Why are they so far away? Get with it, Flint.

  • 30. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO OLIVE GARDEN?

    i order the same thing every time. Chicken Alfredo pizza. maybe that’s why im so fat.

  • 31. DO YOU BELONG TO ANY WAREHOUSE STORES (COSTCO, BJ’S, ETC.)?

    thankfully no. that’s way too much for my adhd to deal with.

  • 32. WHAT WOULD YOUR PARENTS HAVE NAMED YOU IF YOU WERE THE OPPOSITE GENDER?

    aja marie. that’s not a joke. straight up, aja marie. Mom and Dad, what’s up with that? yikes.

  • 33. IF YOU HAVE A NICKNAME, WHAT IS IT?

    Brad Pitt, awesome, “ridiculously good looking.” Take your pick.

  • 34. WHO’S YOUR FAVORITE PERSON IN THE WORLD?

    My son. Have you met him? He should be everyone’s favorite person.

  • 35. WOULD YOU RATHER LIVE IN A RURAL AREA OR IN THE SUBURBS?

    anywhere I can have decent high-speed internet.

  • 36. CAN YOU WHISTLE?

    yep, and Steph hates it. So i keep doing it. 

  • 37. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A NIGHTLIGHT?

    no, I’m a grown man. wuss.

  • 38. DO YOU EAT BREAKFAST EVERY MORNING?

    breakfast is such a waste. breakfast burritos? seriously? No thanks, I’d like to not feel sick all day.

  • 39. DO YOU TAKE ANY PILLS OR MEDICATION DAILY? if you see me walking around the office and yelling constantly, that means I didn’t take my Adderall.

  • 40. WHAT MEDICAL CONDITIONS DO YOU HAVE? awesomeness. 

  • 41. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BEEN TO THE HOSPITAL? so many. so so many.

  • 42. HAVE YOU EVER SEEN FINDING NEMO? such an awesome movie.

  • 43. WHERE DO YOU BUY YOUR JEANS? if you know me, then you know I know nothing, and have zero cares about clothes. 

  • 44. WHAT’S THE LAST COMPLIMENT YOU GOT? I love when Steph tells people that I’m the funniest person she’s ever met. love it.

  • 45. DO YOU USUALLY REMEMBER YOUR DREAMS IN THE MORNING? yes, and they always seem funnier to me than when I retell them.

  • 46. WHAT FLAVOR TEA DO YOU ENJOY? diet coke. is there anything else?

  • 47. HOW MANY PAIRS OF SHOES DO YOU CURRENTLY OWN? i literally don’t care about clothes of any kind. sorry.

  • 48. WHAT RELIGION WILL YOU RAISE YOUR CHILDREN TO PRACTICE? Page loves church so much. Seriously. Probably more than us. We’ll model and experience with him what it means to take Jesus seriously, and not just associate with Christianity personally, but speak hate and destruction with the very next breath.

  • 49. HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU FOUND OUT THAT SANTA WASN’T REAL?

    spoiler alert! hello!!!!!!

  • 50. WHY DO YOU HAVE A TUMBLR?

    i don’t. I have this wordpress, and i should probably use it more. 

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About levilunsford

I like to create stuff.
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2 Responses to this is sooooo old school internet

  1. tepidfuzz says:

    1. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE CANDLE SCENT?

    Lighter fluid…

    2. WHAT FEMALE CELEBRITY DO YOU WISH WAS YOUR SISTER?

    Molly Shannon

    3. WHAT MALE CELEBRITY DO YOU WISH WAS YOUR BROTHER?

    Will Farrel

    4. HOW OLD DO YOU THINK YOU’LL BE WHEN YOU GET MARRIED?

    15, after getting high on airplane glue and knocking up the tooth fairy (wait, is that how that goes?)

    5. DO YOU KNOW A HOARDER?

    Nope, but in the course of my job I’ve been in a handful of houses which would easily qualify for that show.

    6. CAN YOU DO A SPLIT?

    Nada

    7. HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU LEARNED HOW TO RIDE A BIKE?

    Old enough to know better…

    8. HOW MANY OCEANS HAVE YOU SWAM IN?

    One, unless you count the Gulf of Mexico, course, I guess the word “Gulf” disqualifies it by definition.

    9. HOW MANY COUNTRIES HAVE YOU BEEN TO?

    Mexico and Canada and Arkansas.

    10. IS ANYONE IN YOUR FAMILY IN THE ARMY?

    Army? Marine Corps beotch. And no, not any longer.

    11. WHAT WOULD YOU NAME YOUR DAUGHTER IF YOU HAD ONE?

    Mezmer Ising

    12. WHAT WOULD YOU NAME YOUR SON IF YOU HAD ONE?

    Frrrt.

    13. WHAT’S THE WORST GRADE YOU GOT ON A TEST?

    Yep, Zero, on account of skipping it and all.

    14. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW WHEN YOU WERE A CHILD?

    Mr. Wizard, oh, and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Transformers… I never really ever stopped watching TV though to be honest.

    15. WHAT DID YOU DRESS UP AS ON HALLOWEEN WHEN YOU WERE EIGHT?

    Don’t remember, but I hope it was Obi Wan Kenobi.

    16. HAVE YOU READ ANY OF THE HARRY POTTER, HUNGER GAMES OR TWILIGHT SERIES?

    Yes, yes and Mein Gott in Hemmel, Nein!

    17. WOULD YOU RATHER HAVE AN AMERICAN ACCENT OR A BRITISH ACCENT?

    I’d rather have a Brazilian… Accent that is…

    18. DID YOUR MOTHER GO TO COLLEGE?

    Your mother went to college! I mean, yeah, sure…

    19. ARE YOUR GRANDPARENTS STILL MARRIED?

    Well, they never divorced prior to ceasing to live.

    20. HAVE YOU EVER TAKEN KARATE LESSONS?

    I’ve dropped out of at least 3 karate courses, but if you want to start something, I’ll finish it.

    21. DO YOU KNOW WHO KERMIT THE FROG IS?

    It’s not as hard being green as he’d like you all to believe, friggin drama queen.

    22. WHAT’S THE FIRST AMUSEMENT PARK YOU’VE BEEN TO?

    Memphis. zippin pippin. nuff said. (stole this one from Levi, it’s a good answer)

    23. WHAT LANGUAGE, BESIDES YOUR NATIVE LANGUAGE, WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE FLUENT IN?

    Tolkiensian Elvish. Is that nerdy enough, figured Klingon would be too cliche to mention (though I’d like to learn that too.)

    24. DO YOU SPELL THE COLOR AS GREY OR GRAY?

    Grey, as in Gandalf the Grey.

    25. IS YOUR FATHER BALD?

    Nope, but I sure am, Thanks Uncle Tom.

    26. DO YOU KNOW TRIPLETS?

    Do I like chicklets? Nope, not a fan.

    27. DO YOU PREFER TITANIC OR THE NOTEBOOK?

    Seeing as how I’m an adult heterosexual male – the Notebook.

    28. HAVE YOU EVER HAD INDIAN FOOD?

    Mmmmmm, Peshwari Naan.

    29. WHAT’S THE NAME OF YOUR FAVORITE RESTAURANT?

    Five Guys… I also like the burger joint.

    30. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO OLIVE GARDEN?

    Yeah, they have the absolute worst commercials though.

    31. DO YOU BELONG TO ANY WAREHOUSE STORES (COSTCO, BJ’S, ETC.)?

    let my Costco card expire.

    32. WHAT WOULD YOUR PARENTS HAVE NAMED YOU IF YOU WERE THE OPPOSITE GENDER?

    Not a boy Ising.

    33. IF YOU HAVE A NICKNAME, WHAT IS IT?

    None of your DANG BUSINESS Ising.

    34. WHO’S YOUR FAVORITE PERSON IN THE WORLD?

    Phillip J. Fry… Oh, you meant real people?

    35. WOULD YOU RATHER LIVE IN A RURAL AREA OR IN THE SUBURBS?

    Really hoping for some Google Fiber here soon.

    36. CAN YOU WHISTLE?

    When the mood strikes me, which is often.

    37. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A NIGHTLIGHT?

    Does the LED charging indicator on my Nook Tablet count?

    38. DO YOU EAT BREAKFAST EVERY MORNING?

    Only on mornings when I do.

    39. DO YOU TAKE ANY PILLS OR MEDICATION DAILY?

    Alleve, for lower back pain – have I mentioned I’m old?

    40. WHAT MEDICAL CONDITIONS DO YOU HAVE?

    Chronic Sarcastic Retort Disorder. CSRD is real, read a book.

    41. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BEEN TO THE HOSPITAL?

    Rumor has it I was born in one, what was the question?

    42. HAVE YOU EVER SEEN FINDING NEMO?

    Yep, strangely innocuous question, but yes I have.

    43. WHERE DO YOU BUY YOUR JEANS?

    Earth.

    44. WHAT’S THE LAST COMPLIMENT YOU GOT?

    Someone told me they like my cell phone cover today, yeah, I’m totally taking credit for that purchase.

    45. DO YOU USUALLY REMEMBER YOUR DREAMS IN THE MORNING?

    Only when I do.

    46. WHAT FLAVOR TEA DO YOU ENJOY?

    Spiced Chai, I mean, what? Tea? I’m sorry, you seem to have confused me with a Canadian.

    47. HOW MANY PAIRS OF SHOES DO YOU CURRENTLY OWN?

    Way too many for an adult heterosexual male.

    48. WHAT RELIGION WILL YOU RAISE YOUR CHILDREN TO PRACTICE?

    Do, or do not. There is no try.

    49. HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU FOUND OUT THAT SANTA WASN’T REAL?

    The squatch is out there.

    50. WHY DO YOU HAVE A TUMBLR?

    To drink from? And why is it missing the “e”?

  2. Jesse says:

    Dude, I used to love these. That really makes me sound old but who cares. Your answers got me laughing pretty hard so I thought I would fill out my version and post the responses. Then, I remembered I have a very dirty sense of humor so I erased those quiz answers. Still funny though.

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